Ed Spivey Jr. was working as art director of the Chicago Sun-Times Sunday Magazine in 1974 when God called him to join the fledgling Sojourners community and work for its publication, then called the Post-American. The fact that Ed has not heard from God SINCE is not what’s important here, because Ed figures God had other things to do, what with making the world a more peaceful place. Why the world is still not a more peaceful place is none of Ed's business and he would never think to criticize God for slacking off since, who knows, God could have been sick or something.
But, 46 years later, Ed finally retired from Sojourners, content to have fulfilled his life-long dream of working hard for very little money. The only downside is that Ed is too old now to pursue his childhood plans of being either a cowboy or an astronaut. But such are the sacrifices one makes when one responds to the call of the Lord, even if immediately after that, the Lord apparently changed His or Her phone number.
Of a more biographic note, Ed holds an associate degree from Vincennes University. He then transferred to Indiana University where, despite his diligence at attending several classes each semester, he was denied a bachelor’s degree because a psychology professor did not appreciate Ed’s refusal to complete his rat experiment. Apparently, Ed’s was the only laboratory rat that bit, so Ed insisted on wearing thick motorcycle gloves when handling the animal which, the professor insisted, skewed the rat’s response to stimuli. Ed told the professor what he could do with stimuli, which unfortunately did not put the professor in the mood to accept Ed’s alternative suggestion, which was to study the response of rats being loudly cursed at while simultaneously being flushed down university toilets.
Since his college days he has made a bit of a name for himself, and not just “You, There,” which is the name his mother called him when she forgot. Ed won numerous awards for his design of Sojourners magazine, and his monthly humor column consistently garnered top honors from both religious and secular media associations. His book A Hamster is Missing in Washington, D.C. won the top prize in humor at the Independent Publisher Book Awards in New York City. (Due to scheduling conflicts, Ed was unable to attend the gala banquet, but had he gone he would have ordered the fish.) The book sold out of its second printing and Ed is now working on a second volume.
Ed is married and has two daughters, all of whom refuse to walk in public with him, on account of the little whoop-whoop sound he makes when he sees a fire truck. His beloved granddaughter, however, likes it when he does this.
Posts By This Author
Are You Y2K Ready?
Or did you think Y2K was another Calvin Klein perfume, the kind promoted by pouty models who look like all they want from life is more heroin?
First Dance
The global economy is in shambles, the presidency is in crisis, and Americans are struggling under the weight of a broken health care system. But hey, I've got my own problems.
Quiet on the Set…
Film stardom is an elusive dream for most, including even yours truly, whom many have credited with talents well-suited for the big screen.
Guilty
Jury duty is one of those responsibilities of citizenship that reminds us that the American justice system is the best in the world. It also reminds us that, if at all possible, we never want to have anything to do with the American justice system. Not ever.
If you’re not a law-abiding citizen when you first report for jury duty, by the end of the day you definitely are. You never want to go back there again, in any capacity. It’s like prison, only without the exercise yard. By the end of my two days I was scratching a crude calendar into the back of the seat in front of me. I wanted to speak to an attorney. I wanted my rights read to me. I wanted to yell "GUARD!!" but that would have interrupted the catatonia of the other 200 people trapped in a room with no windows and 12 ceiling-mounted TVs.
As we waited to be called to trial, we were apparently being tested by having to watch something called Regis and Kathie Lee. I have heard of this program. I have also heard that there are people who watch this of their own free will. But here in this large room there was no choice, no escaping this Regis and Kathie Lee person (or perhaps it was two separate people).
"Come on Steve. Take your shirt off. Let’s see the kind of hunk that stars on General Hospital!" [frenzied screams from audience]
I glance up. Maybe the people in the TV audience are themselves waiting for a jury assignment, except they’re in a more creative city that teaches pity and compassion to its jurors by making them watch celebrities.
Wrongs and Rites of Passage
Our cover feature points out the importance of rituals that young men need to prepare them for responsible adulthood, not including the time your mother made you wear a bow tie for Dress-Up Day a
All the News That's Written to Space
It's February and so far you haven't kept a single New Year's resolution, have you? Not even the one about setting aside a special time to write in your journal.
Shocking News: El Nino Causes Hair Loss!
Whew! I was afraid it was hereditary, since my grandfather on my mother’s side had a cousin who looked like a pool cue.
Lost in Space . . .
The National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NAFTA) has finally revealed which of the three astronauts was responsible for most of the trouble on board the space station Mir.
The Summer of 1997: A Look Back
Helllloooooooooo!" That’s what I shouted over the Grand Canyon when we first pulled up. You have to do that. It’s the law.
I Just Love These New Chips. Oops . . .
This issue of Sojourners is sponsored by the good folks at Procter & Gamble, makers of a respected line of consumer products, including their popular fat substitute, Olestra...
With the Ears to Hear
I confess that on Election Day this past November I didn't vote my conscience or my pocketbook.
Legs That Will Be Straight
The phone call came as it does to many parents at some point in the growing-up years of their children. Colleen had fallen off the jungle gym at school, and could I please pick her up?
The Problem of Kids These Days
The Only Election Guide You'll Need
American democracy is the envy of the world. And millions of us will wake up on election day and realize just how lucky we are before deciding not to vote.
Bunch of sourpusses.
But the rest of us—the patriotic citizens who value our freedoms and who, if called on to serve, would gladly make the ultimate sacrifice (specifically, giving up our favorite TV shows to watch U.S. soldiers fight on CNN)—we will vote. We'll carefully look at the issues, re-sponsibly select the people with the most integrity, and then faithfully go to the polls to cast our vote. Unfortu-
nately, nobody with integrity ever runs, so we'll just vote for somebody else.
But let's look on the bright side. The campaign is almost over, and so are the months of acrimony and negativism. But enough about Kathy Lee Gifford. We're here to talk about the race between Bill Clinton and Bob Dole.
For one thing, the media are pleased that the long-awaited GOP convention has finally taken place. After months of having to awkwardly refer to Bob Dole as "the presumptive Republican nominee," relieved journalists can finally call him simply "the guy who looks really uncomfortable talking to regular people."
Snow Business
After finally digging out from the 27 inches of snow that fell on the nation's capital-a city founded on a simple democratic principle: "What's a snowplow?"