Divine Intervention

I saw God the other day at the supermarket. I was in a hurry, just needed a couple of things, and, to be honest, I wasn’t all that happy to discover that it was God standing in front of me in the express lane. He had 11 items, an out-of-town check, and a question.

Now I want to say right off that I have enormous respect for God. As you know, God made the heavens and the Earth in less than a week. (God has incredible time management skills.) And God has already proven a deep love for humankind-type-persons by sending His only son to spend time with us. (I’ve always wondered about that "only son" thing. Does that imply God also had several daughters? If so, how come they didn’t volunteer?)

If I had been God back then I probably wouldn’t have sent my son. I would have sent my annoying cousin Bobby instead. When I was a kid Ialways had to sleep in his room when we visited and every night at about 3 in the morning Bobby would shake me awake, yelling, "Hey Ed! Are you awake?"

"Yes," Iwould groggily answer.

"Well, you shouldn’t be. For gosh sakes, it’s 3 o’clock in the morning! Hah hah hah!"

So anyway, I would have made Bobby pay for our sins.

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Sojourners Magazine March-April 1997
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