Adventures in Parenting

Oh, to be so perfect that if a movie was made about you, everyone would know that it was a farce.

Oh, to be Jane or Jeff Blue, the hyper-wonderful, extraordinarily gifted, tastefully chic ex-CIA (or was it the FBI?) agents who karate-chop hoodlums and hoodwink terrorists in the recently released action-comedy, Undercover Blues.

Oh, they also change diapers.

Undercover Blues? How about "Nick and Nora Charles Live in the 1990s and Have a Baby"? Or "Two Secret Agents and a Baby"?

Kathleen Turner and Dennis Quaid star as the amazing Blues, who have evidently spent years secretly saving the United States and its allies from various catastrophes, using their cunning and their incredible mastery of martial arts and firearms. (Well, actually they're both experts in martial arts but Jane is the only Blue who has any marksmanship skills-- Jeff never carries a gun.) But the covert-actions routine is over: The veteran spies have taken an extended parental leave/semi-retirement to bond with their baby daughter.

OK, so they're bonding in a luxury hotel suite in New Orleans' French Quarter. The CIA definitely has a generous pension plan.

Despite their avowal to provide a "normal" life for baby Louise Jane (as Jane wants to name her) or Jane Louise (Jeff's preference), when an old colleague shows up with an assignment involving an old enemy, they spend barely five minutes debating the price before accepting.

There is absolutely no doubt that the Blues will foil the plans of their nemesis, Novacek, a mercenary arms dealer who was once a Communist official in Czechoslovakia. Played by My Left Foot's Fiona Shaw, Novacek is actually Natasha, of the Boris and Natasha cartoons, come to life.

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Sojourners Magazine November 1993
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