Shannon Dingle is a disabled activist, sex trafficking survivor, and author of recently released Living Brave. Her family’s grief over the sudden death of her husband, Lee, in July 2019 resonated with many worldwide. She discussed Living Brave with Liuan Huska, author of Hurting Yet Whole: Reconciling Body and Spirit in Chronic Pain and Illness.
LIUAN HUSKA: It's been almost two years since a rogue wave killed your husband, Lee, on a family beach vacation. You wrote about his death soon after it happened.
Shannon Dingle: Looking back on some of my writing, I’m so damn proud of my ability to capture where I was then. It is a record for me and my kids as much as for anyone else. I wanted to tell the story and protect how it was told.
Did the sexual abuse you experienced as a child influence how you wanted to tell your grief story? My brutal and raw honesty definitely comes from a place where I had horrific things happening that I couldn’t tell. I know how freeing it can be to put words to things. I write from a place where I know I’m the authority on what my life has been and what happened.
You started this book before Lee died, and the pandemic followed his death. How did the book change? It was going to be much more research-based. But I was trying to hide behind explanations and the certainty that comes with fundamentalism in any form, whether faith-wise or science-wise. There are things that aren’t going to be provable. There are things that you learn that aren’t a piece of research that can be replicated.
Though you have supportive community, you wrote that “some nights I have to journey in the dark on my own.” Where is God for you these days? There are still things that I don’t get and that I am pissed at God about. I have felt comfortable not being so connected to God and leaning on those who were. I knew that faith wasn’t something I needed to try to get right. I didn’t want to be the one who was so strong and never cried and was happy all the time. I’ve lost my ability to bullshit. I’m making my way back to God in a new way, but I don’t think sovereignty will be a word that I use ever again.
Your book encourages readers to do the thing that is brave for us, which may mean not speaking up, or defining our own rules about what is healthy. What does Living Brave offer in this time when we’re so polarized and feel pressure to speak up on one side or the other? I want Living Brave to get people to show up for themselves. Being brave is not living into other people’s expectations or arbitrary rules. It’s not even accepting our society’s definitions of brave. I want to give people the freedom to question, “What if I said ‘yes’?” or “What if I did this instead?” To not rush yourself or mold yourself into something you’re supposed to be but isn’t where you’re at, and maybe isn’t where you’ll ever be. Or maybe you don’t know. Being able to say “I don’t know” is the bravest thing for so many of us.
Liuan Huska is a freelance journalist and the author of Hurting Yet Whole: Reconciling Body and Spirit in Chronic Pain and Illness.
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