Art Director
Photo: Brandon Hook / Sojourners

Ed Spivey Jr. was working as art director of the Chicago Sun-Times Sunday Magazine in 1972 when God called him to join the fledgling Sojourners community and work for its publication, then called the Post-American. The fact that Ed has not heard from God SINCE is not what's important here, because Ed figures God had other things to do, what with making the world a more peaceful place. Why the world is still NOT a more peaceful place is none of Ed's business and he would never think to criticize God for slacking off since, who knows, God could have been sick or something.

But, 36 years later, Ed is still with Sojourners, still the art director, still happy with his life-long dream of working hard for very little money. The only down side is that Ed is beginning to feel his childhood plans of being either a cowboy or an astronaut may not be realized in his lifetime. But such are the sacrifices one makes when one responds to the call of the Lord, even if immediately after that the Lord apparently changed His phone number.

Of a more biographic note, Ed holds an Associate in Arts degree from Vincennes University. He was denied a Bachelor's Degree from Indiana University because of a disagreement with his psychology professor who did not appreciate Ed's refusal to complete his rat experiment. Apparently, Ed's was the only laboratory rat that bit, so Ed insisted on wearing huge motorcycle gloves when handling the animal, which, the professor insisted, skewed the rat's response to stimuli. Ed told the professor what he could do with his stimuli, which unfortunately did not put the professor in the mood to accept Ed's alternative suggestion, which was to study the response of rats being loudly cursed at while simultaneously being flushed down university toilets.

Since his college days he has made a bit of a name for himself, and not just “You, There,” which is the name his mother calls him when she forgets. Ed has won numerous awards for his design of Sojourners Magazine, and his monthly humor column consistently garners top honors from both religious and secular media associations. His recent book, A Hamster is Missing in Washington, D.C. won the top prize in humor at the Independent Publisher Book Awards in New York City. (Due to scheduling conflicts, Ed was unable to attend the gala tribute and banquet, but had he gone he would have ordered the fish.) Now in its second printing, Ed’s book is available at store.sojo.net and at on-line booksellers near you.

Ed is married and has two daughters, all of whom refuse to walk in public with him, on account of the little whoop-whoop sound he makes when he sees a fire truck.

Posts By This Author

But We Don't Look a Day Over 38

by Ed Spivey Jr. 11-01-2011

Fortunately, 40 is the new 34, or in my case, 38.

Does the Emphysema Come in Menthol?

by Ed Spivey Jr. 09-01-2011

Starting in 2013, every pack of cigarettes sold in the U.S. will include graphic images portraying the physical effects of smoking, although looking really cool when you're a teenager won’t be one of them.

'Now that I've found you ...'

by Ed Spivey Jr. 08-01-2011

So now we know why over the past few years our Internet service would sometimes slow to a crawl: Osama bin Laden was tying up the circuits Googling himself. Repeatedly.

Judgment Day 2.0

by Ed Spivey Jr. 07-01-2011

Eventually, a Rapture prediction will come true, right?

We're Number 33 (We Rock!)

by Ed Spivey Jr. 06-15-2011

Speaking of my granddaughter, I was changing her diaper the other day, and in the contents I'm pretty sure I saw ...

What? Already?

by Ed Spivey Jr. 06-03-2011

Our nation expects bold and innovative leadership. (Kidding.)

The Church of No Lost Causes

by Ed Spivey Jr. 05-31-2011

A little Methodist church has a big heart for the left out and the lonley in the shadow of the nation's capital.

Interview with the Prince of Darkness

by Ed Spivey Jr. 04-01-2011

As the United States prepares for its inevitable takeover by special interests, Sojourners recently sat down with the godfather of them all, the National Rifle Association.

Grandfathers Are Our Future

by Ed Spivey Jr. 03-01-2011

It's official: WikiLeaks says she's the cutest.

Groping for Answers at the Airport

by Ed Spivey Jr. 02-01-2011

As one would predict, many humor writers are taking cheap shots at the new pat-down rules at airports. But at Sojourners we're different.

A Giant Flushing Sound...

by Ed Spivey Jr. 01-01-2011
The Tea Party has spoken, or maybe gurgled.

Not to brag, but my new toilet was rated Best Flush for 2010. I don't know if this reflects its intrinsic design superiority or if the manufacturer was simply teaching to the test, but it does recall the original slogan of George W. Bush's education initiative: "No Child Left Behind; Check the Bathrooms." (It was supposed to be a reminder to school bus drivers, but Congress broadened it considerably.)

Regardless, my new toilet has three times the standard flush power, which means the user should not remain seated when the flushing process is initiated, unless that person's effects are in order and power of attorney established.

This is just one of the features of our new quarter-bath downstairs, the construction of which was my attempt to stimulate the weak economy while providing a place for me to use in the coming years when I become too frail to make it to my secret place in the back yard.

A quarter-bath, a home improvement concept of my own invention, is like a half-bath, only smaller, by half. There's space for a sink, a toilet, and a small person not wearing bulky clothing. Definitely a summer destination. There is room to sit, but not room to flail your arms emotionally after being denied use of the larger bathroom because family members, citing overcrowding, threatened to call the fire marshal.

Nothing to See Here...

by Ed Spivey Jr. 12-01-2010

Having successfully survived a mid-life crisis -- mainly by living past mid-life -- I felt it was finally time to sell my Harley, the vehicle I procured a few years back to counter the feelings of insecurity that come with aging.

Cover Your Ears, Thomas Jefferson...

by Ed Spivey Jr. 11-01-2010

After more than 200 years of constitutional democracy, it may be time to try something completely different.

Election Year Blues.

by Ed Spivey Jr. 09-01-2010
Politicians can't help it when they lie.

Who You Calling 'Alien'?!

by Ed Spivey Jr. 08-01-2010
Humans are like ants, only less productive.

First Among Equals

by Ed Spivey Jr. 07-01-2010

I never look forward to my trips to Dallas, a red-state city short on political tolerance but long on congenial in-laws, who welcome me to their comfortable little patch of sagebrush while trying t

This is Frank Luntz. No it's Not.

by Ed Spivey Jr. 06-01-2010

Frank Luntz sees things differently than the rest of us.

Inventor. Handyman. Genius.

by Ed Spivey Jr. 05-01-2010
The device was less effective than I'd hoped.
As summer approaches, I look forward to the day, sometime in late July, when all the snow will finally be gone from Washington, D.C. But right now I’m writing from the confines of my home, trapped under three feet of snow and occupying my time by worrying about the porch roof collapsing.
I share this snowbound fate with spouse and youngest daughter, the oldest daughter having wisely decided to move to the warmer climate of northern Massachusetts.
As the snow continues, and my fear for the porch intensifies, I have been told that under no circumstances will I be permitted to climb onto the roof and shovel it off, this from household members who never stand in my way when tires go flat, lawns require mowing, or the bodies of rodents need to be removed from locations where the cat has proudly put them on display.
I originally attempted to stand on a ladder and rake snow from that relatively safe vantage point, but family members referred to news reports of injuries resulting from just that technique. So, after carefully coming down from the ladder by falling backwards into the snow, I withdrew to my basement workshop to plan a different strategy. [Editor’s fact check: There is a basement, but no “workshop.” Just a bench with dusty tools that haven’t been used since the last time the author’s 85-year-old father demonstrated how to use a saw without injury.]

Supreme Court Earns Free Air Miles

by Ed Spivey Jr. 04-01-2010
'Opening the floodgates' for Happy Meals

An Urgent Visit to the White House

by Ed Spivey Jr. 03-01-2010

It was a very special day, and I chose my necktie accordingly, a selection made easier by the fact that I only have two.