children and parents
THE BIBLE REPEATEDLY points us toward understanding God as a parent. Jesus recommends we call God “Dad,” or “Abba” in Aramaic (Matthew 6:9), and compares himself to a mother “hen [who] gathers her chicks under her wings” (Luke 13:34). And in the Hebrew scriptures, God often appears as a parent. Consider this description of God’s relationship to us from Hosea 11:3-4 and see if you don’t get a little misty-eyed: “Yet it was I who taught Ephraim to walk; I took them up in my arms, but they did not know that I healed them. I led them with cords of human kindness, with bands of love. I was to them like those who lift infants to their cheeks. I bent down to them and fed them.”
As a parent, I get glimpses of that love: The joy I felt watching my daughter score her first goal in soccer. The worry I felt when I saw her fight through a string of stomach bugs. But most surprisingly, I’ve caught glimpses of God’s parental love when watching kids’ movies with my child, particularly films from 2024.
One moment in particular, a scene from Despicable Me 4, of all things, really hammered home the link between parenting and God. Throughout the film, the main character, Gru, struggles to connect with his son, Gru Jr. When Gru Jr. finds another father figure, someone who will bring harm to Gru, Gru still offers his child one last gift by saying, “It’s okay, Junior. Dada loves you.” There was something about that scene showcasing the fierce love of a parent for their children, even when that love hurts, that made me understand that movies, especially kids’ movies, can be a fantastic way to gain some understanding of what God’s love might look like.
I was pretty sure my parents were insane when I was a kid. It never made any sense to me when they’d talk about how they’d rather have something bad happen to them instead of to me.
Well folks, that makes three of us, I guess. Being the good little narcissist, I agreed that I didn’t want anything to happen to me, damn the consequences to anyone else. We all go through that developmental stage; some grow out of it and others, not so much. It takes time, experience, wisdom and a broadening of perspective to understand that the avoidance of suffering, in itself, is not the end-game of life.
It’s even harder to understand suffering as a gift.
My daughter attended her first day of kindergarten today. A poignant milestone dressed up in an exceptionally cute plaid jumper.
My wife and I thought we were pretty cool with it. Our daughter had attended preschool, after all, so this wasn't a major logistical change. She was excited as we dropped her off, said goodbye with a smile over her shoulder, then back to drawing in her new notebook.
We still thought we were cool with it after we signed up for PTA at the courtyard table. We ran into the local rabbi. My wife is pastor at a Lutheran church in town and they cross paths regularly. The rabbi's third child was starting kindergarten. He's an old hand at this.