Funny Business

Beware of Wolverines in Caribou Clothing

Jesus of Nazareth was a master at using images and parables to convey truths to his friends. But what went over well in the Middle East doesn't necessarily play in northern Canada. Bible translators who are trying to serve native people there are having a tough time in a land without mustard trees, sheep, or wheat, according to a report by the Religious News Service.

One translator, groping for a word to describe "joy," was struck by the excitement of sled dogs at feeding time and decided to borrow the native word that described it. Translated into English, it came out, "When the disciples saw Jesus, they wagged their tails."

Another translator, looking for a way to describe a person of high importance, discovered that the most important person in many villages was the man who owned the largest boat. For some Canadian natives, the Lord's Prayer now begins with the phrase "Our boat owner, who lives in heaven...."

Anglican Bishop John Sperry, who recently completed a tour of western Canada on behalf of the Canadian Bible Society, is familiar with problems of translation. In his translation of the gospels and the book of Acts into the native Coppermine language, he changed Jesus' description of Herod. Foxes in biblical times were considered cunning, rapacious animals, but in northern Canada they are known as small, timid creatures. So in Sperry's Bible, when Jesus is warned that Herod is out to kill him, Jesus responds, "Go tell that wolverine ..."

Pigs generally don't do well in arctic climates, and few northern natives have ever seen one. So Sperry took a suffix which, when added to a word, means "strange-looking," and attached it to the word for caribou. Said Sperry, "So the pig is now a strange-looking caribou. Nobody can argue with that." You'll not find any native Canadian Christians attentive to the Sermon on the Mount casting their pearls before strange-looking caribou.

Out of breath

Not content with innovative electronics and automobiles, Japan is hoping soon to market a new type of garlic in this country. It will look, cook, and taste like the garlic we know and love, with one difference: A person who has eaten it will not exude the easily identifiable ambiance that usually surrounds the garlic eater.

According to The Washington Post, the Japanese firm that is creating the new spice must be assuming that a nation of people who purchase deodorants for the body, the bathroom, the kitchen, and the car is ready for deodorized garlic. Not so, says L. John Harris, who appears to be a garlic expert: "Garlic represents people throwing their social concerns to the wind and expressing their pure pleasure, without any fear of repercussions because of bad breath. The whole pleasure of eating garlic is a lingering knowledge that you've had a garlicky meal." Thyme will tell.

Hot stuff

Elsewhere on the spice front, good news for eaters of chili peppers. Researchers in an exchange program between Rutgers University and a research center in Mexico recently concluded that a diet high in chili peppers may lower sensitivity to pain. Although they conjecture that a high-chili diet since infancy is most effective, it's not too late to eat a case of jalapenos if you have a dentist appointment next week -- just avoid the garlic for at least a few months.

Attack turkey

Speaking of food and pain, a Tacoma, Washington man was put in jail on Thanksgiving Day after allegedly attacking a friend with a 21-pound turkey. The case of assault with a dead weapon went to court without the weapon for evidence "because it was roasting in the oven," the arresting officer testified.

Joyce Hollyday was associate editor of Sojourners when this article appeared.