AN ITALIAN ADAGE SAYS, "GOD AND the child speak the same language." We often wonder what is happening inside young children with their relationship to God. Do they know secrets which we do not? Is it possible to discover or define their mysterious relationship? There are so many things we cannot know about young children, and this is a wonderful mystery of its own. There are things we are not meant to know with exactitude.
We can observe a tremendous amount of activity and formation taking place in young children from birth to 6 years of age. Astonishing leaps are made in the development of coordination, independence, and social skills. Children absorb an entire language system and internalize the culture in which they live by the age of 6. There have been many advances in child care and early childhood education aimed at the preschool child, and even infants, in order to meet their needs more fully.
There is, however, an aspect of children's development that is not given the same attention: their spiritual life. Dr. Sofia Cavalletti (see "Teaching Us the Source of Joy," page 23), to the "religious potential" of the child: The child is not only a being of movement, cognition, and language but also a spiritual being. If, as has been determined by so many educators and psychologists, the time from birth to 6 is such a profound period of growth, then it must also be a sensitive time in the spiritual formation of the child. We can presume the presence of God in a particular way during this special period of development.
In reflecting on the spiritual development of the child, there are very distinct differences between children from birth to 6 and children from 6 to 12. The child's spiritual life can be expressed through the symbol of our Christian faith, the cross. The vertical line is drawn during the years from birth to 6, and the relationship at that time is between God and the child. The horizontal line is drawn during the ages of 6 to 12 years when relationship is between child and community.
Those of us who are parents feel a responsibility for our child's development, especially because we know how much is happening in their early years. Some parents may have a tendency to think, "I cannot prepare my child for a religious life; I will find a good religious education program." As adults we are making choices of where we worship and which faith community is most supportive to us; the child, however, is open and responsive to God and has no religious problems or concerns to begin with.
What spiritual preparation do we personally provide for our children? Are we models of prayer? Do we attend church services? How do we involve God in our daily lives? Children need to see us, just as we are observed in every other phase of our lives, being spiritual people. We cannot expect the child's spiritual life to develop without any input from us, without "food for thought," without some spiritual experiences. Children must have models and experiences so that they can build up their own story of relationship with God. Without modeling, children may not be inspired to give expression to their own spiritual lives. If we can be aware of the needs of children, we can offer the support necessary for the formation of their spiritual lives.
WHAT DO WE KNOW ABOUT THE YOUNG child's religious life? What we have observed is pure joy. The most overwhelming aspect of the young child's life is the sense of wonder. Children are filled with wonder at the tiniest bug, the softest rabbit, or a ride on a parent's knee. Their wonder is sometimes filled with exclamation, but it is as often silent. Children are led into contemplation of what is before them.
Wonder is present in the adult's life also; it is what causes us to move in regard to something. Wonder urges us forward because it is the base of all creation, of the great reality and the great question, "Who has prepared all this for me?"
The young child is capable of contemplation, but this is often not understood as a characteristic of children. We tend to think they are always in motion and turning from one subject to another. This is not the case when children are allowed time to choose their activities and work with them as long as they are interested.
Dr. Maria Montessori, who was an Italian physician and educator, discovered the child's ability to concentrate through observation. She observed the concentration of a child pouring water and waiting for the last drop to fall from the pitcher, of a child lining up math beads in perfect order. In the religious environment, we observe children working with parables for a long time, repeating a story over and over; we observe their perfect silence as they listen to a new parable.
The main aspect of the religious life of the child is and should be joy. Their early impressions must be ones of security, comfort, and peace. These are the general needs of a child less than 6, which is a time of protectiveness, of routine, and of fewer out-of-home activities.
Young children need to be told over and over again that they are loved: They are loved by their parents, and they are loved by God. The prophetic announcements, "Be joyful! Do not fear! God is near!" are the proclamations for childhood. We continually give the announcement that God loves them. What we hope to create for the child is the opportunity for innamoramento, an Italian word meaning "to fall in love." The children fall in love with God. This is how we can explain the relationship between God and the young child.
ONE FORM OF THE MESSAGE IS THROUGH the parable of the Good Shepherd (John 10:1-18),which corresponds to the developmental stage of the child. The shepherd loves the sheep and takes great care of them. The children compare the shepherd to their parents, especially their mother. We stress how the shepherd calls each one by name. They are special, and each one is loved deeply.
The children do not discover right away that they are the sheep. Over the months we lead them through some meditative questions, "Do you think these are the sheep of the field?" The young ones will say "yes" and perhaps see the shepherd as a "farmer." Yet gradually they integrate this parable into their beings through repeated work with the material and by hearing the scripture read.
Children are observed spontaneously praying to the Good Shepherd. A child suffering from leukemia told me, "He helps me a lot."
We do not introduce the element of the hireling or the wolf until the children are 5 or older. Only the love is stressed - and being called by name. What does it mean when someone knows your name? How do you feel when you recognize the voice that calls you without having to see the person?
I have sometimes been questioned about the image of the Good Shepherd: "What does the modern child see in this? Where is the model?" The answer to this question is in the response of children in many parts of the world. There is a universal love for the Good Shepherd and this centuries-old theme. If it did not fulfill the needs of children, they would not respond to it the way they do, and we would not observe such similar responses from many different countries.
THE CHILD'S SPIRITUAL LIFE IS ENHANCED by the preparation of a special environment. The environment should allow the child to be independent and move about making choices of activity.
We prepare an environment called the "atrium." The word "atrium" is used because it is the place between the street and the inner church. In the early church it was the place of preparation for the catechumens. The purpose of this special environment is to help establish contact between the child and the mystery.
If we were to visit an atrium we would see a prayer corner with a small table, a beautiful cloth, a statue of the Good Shepherd, the Bible, and a candle. Near the table would be a basket of prayer cards with such words as "Alleluia," "Hosanna," "Praise God." There would be a corner with the articles of baptism and a shelf with concrete representations of the parables of the kingdom to inspire the child's sense of wonder: the mustard seed, the precious pearl, the leavened and unleavened bread. In the center of the room would be a table containing the materials to depict the parable of the Good Shepherd.
The materials in the atrium are concrete because of the need of young children to have objects to focus on. For example, the elements of the parable of the Good Shepherd include a shepherd figure, 10 small sheep, a sheepfold, a hireling figure, and a wolf. We present the parable to the children in a meditative atmosphere using the words from scripture. The children then use the material to tell the parable to each other or for individual meditation.
Children need concrete objects that they can hold and manipulate and which enable them to be in contact with their environment. We are the link between the child and the environment.
It is difficult to teach children about God by only using words. God is abstract, but Christ is concrete. And what is around the child is concrete: creation, human beings, scripture. Children begin with the concrete and will gradually move to abstractions. The materials provide for independence and repetition, which lead the child into meditation and prayer. They are a means of internalizing the message.
Language development occurs in a sensitive period from birth to 6, and children are hungry for words. We give them the names of the articles and also the beautiful words of prayer: "Alleluia," "Hosanna," "Rejoice," "Shalom," "Amen." Children also are movers and are keenly aware of movement. We show gestures, such as the gesture of peace and the sign of the cross. Children take in many impressions - they repeat what they see and hear and internalize it.
While children are building their personalities, we are helping them to live the Word. We never talk about Jesus' death without announcing the resurrection. With the announcement of God's love also comes the gift of Christ, God's Son.
In the life of Christ we must face his death. We tell the children that Christ has died, and in the next moment we light a candle and announce that "Christ is risen." We give the message of optimism, of eternal life and the triumph of life over death. The Good Shepherd lays down his life for his sheep, and he also takes it up again. The Light of the risen Christ became ours at baptism. Tn the children we can proclaim that the Light will never go out again.
Later we place the Good Shepherd figure on a small altar and "call" the sheep around him. We bring bread and wine to show that the Good Shepherd is present to us not in a statue but in a most particular way in these elements. One by one, each sheep figure is replaced around the altar by a person figure. The Good Shepherd calls us by name and gives himself to us; he comes that we may have abundant life and that his life may be in all of us.
During the preschool years, we have given the elements of our Christian faith: the announcement of God's love, the life of the risen Christ, and the presence of Christ with us, especially in the bread and wine. First comes listening to and receiving the message; we cannot force the relationship between the child and God, but we can make the announcement. Second, the message is taken into contemplation by each individual and internalized. At that time the child listens directly to God.
We do not try to stand between God and the child and impart answers or information. We listen with the children and together we ask, "God, who are you? How do you love us?" Together we meditate on the questions and the answers in the scripture. We can respond that "One time Jesus said, 'I am the Good Shepherd' and another time he said, 'As the Father has loved me so I have loved you. Remain in my love....'" What we hope to create is the opportunity for the child's development through religious experiences rather than through lessons.
YOUNG CHILDREN GIVE THANKS AND praise. As adults, we seem to focus on petitionary prayer because we are always so conscious of our needs. But true prayer begins with thanks, praise, and blessing. This is what we observe in children under the age of 6. As we listen to children pray, we hear thanks even when it is a subject that we, as adults, would turn into petition. The child sees it only one way.
A child prayed at mealtime for a cousin who died at the age of 3 months: "Thank you for Baby Andrew who died." She was 3 when Andrew died and remembered him daily for months, always using the same words. The parents then had a second child who was healthy and the child prayed: "Thank you for Baby Andrew who died. Thank you for Baby Andrew's brother who lives."
When the child offered this prayer during a time when we were together with a large group of children, a 9-year-old asked, "Why did she say thank you?" The nature of prayer changes after age 6. The realization of death is not the same for the younger child.
As children become more conscious of difficulties in their life, their prayers also turn to hope and the resurrection. They will discuss the hard things happening to them and turn them into prayers of petition or sometimes simply a statement, "My brother is sick."
A 6-year-old once prayed: "If a bomb goes off, I want to stay alive. I hope my gramma and grampa are back for my birthday. I hope my great gramma stays alive until she's 100.1 hope no more of my friends move away from me. I hope we have a happy life." He ended this prayer with the song "Johnny Appleseed," which is a song of thanks. It is important for the first years to be filled with the announcement of love and resurrection and the awareness of God's nurturing protection.
For the anniversary of Hiroshima, the children of our parish were invited to make drawings in response to the question, "What would you lose in war that you would miss the most?" A 6-year-old girl came up to me immediately and said, "I know what I'm going to draw - Jesus on the cross." With this a short discussion followed, "Would Jesus die in a war?" A 5-year-old replied, "Jesus did die, but he rose again. If Jesus died in a war, he would rise again." The message of the resurrection is already internalized in these 5- and 6-year-olds.
WE BEGIN THE ELEMENTARY YEARS WITH A time line of creation, which is also introduced in a visual way with a ribbon 50 meters long. We hope to bring the children to an awareness of the length of history, and in it they see the very recent arrival of human beings. Later, we discuss all the gifts that God has given to us: in space, in the mineral world, the plant world, animals, people, and the greatest gift, Jesus, God's own son.
The child older than 6 has a magnificent imagination and interest in the universe, showing curiosity and wonder in the development of the world, the gifts, the place we have on earth, and our relationship to all peoples. The realization of all these gifts elicits a response, and, through this, moral consciousness emerges. The moral formation itself began with the announcement of love. Now that we are loved and abundantly gifted, we become aware of our actions and their effects on the creation around us. The proclamation of the Word becomes moral exhortation.
The parable emphasized at this time is that of the True Vine (John 15:1-11). In the image of the True Vine, we see our interrelatedness and our connection to Christ, whose resurrected life is the sap of the vine. It takes the effort of all the branches to keep the vine beautiful.
The children are now conscious of their peers and the justice in the decisions around them. They are more social and are meeting children in all kinds of situations. Perhaps they have transferred to a bigger school and joined community programs. They begin to ask themselves what is right and wrong.
The response to the image of the vine is also universal. A 7-year-old child in Italy wrote: "Without the sap, we cannot live, because it is the life of Jesus in me. Alleluia."
If the announcement is internalized and the gifts realized, then a natural response will take place. The first thing that is necessary is an interior attitude or disposition; if that is in place, the rest follows. If children have a religious experience that is enjoyable and secure then the experience will build on all other relationships, both horizontal and vertical. When we respond out of love, we are responding differently than out of duty. In this we also establish the hope of the Parousia - when all creation will be renewed, when God will be "all in all."
During the elementary years, we also present parables that foster discussion and meditation on moral conflicts, for example, the Good Samaritan and the Prodigal Son. How do the people act in these stories? How does the father wait? He is always watching on the road, and he opens his arms to his son. Does the father scold the returning son? How much then is God's love for us? The children will relate this to the "Found Sheep," which is not scolded by the Good Shepherd but carried happily on his shoulders. With great love we are understood and forgiven.
We also present Jesus' own words about justice and morality: "Love your enemy as yourself....Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." What does this mean? Who is the enemy? Who is our neighbor? Can we forgive "seventy times seven?" Through these parables and maxims, the horizontal line is drawn in the children's spiritual development. They now build relationship with community and will begin to examine their own role in the life of the vine.
We enhance the horizontal line through our participation in the Eucharist. We present to children the gesture of peace and the breaking of the bread. This horizontal movement of sharing bread and giving peace happens wherever there is a circle of believers.
There is a circle, here in our community, around the bread and wine. In our city other communities gather around one altar to break bread and give peace. Imagine all the believing people gathered around the bread and wine in our state, in this country, throughout the world. If all the circles were one circle, how big would it be? Perhaps it would go around the world several times. All of us have been brought together by the Light and are united in the risen Christ. An 8 1/2-year-old child once offered this prayer:
Perhaps tomorrow,
Perhaps in five years,
Maybe thirteen centuries,
A wonderful thing will happen.
The people, men and women,
shall drink the water of Baptism,
And God will be all in all.
IT IS CRUCIAL TO PRAY WITH YOUR CHILDREN Pray with simplicity, but take time for this each day. It may be at meals or bedtime, or it may be to stop in the middle of the day because of a phone call about a relative or a news report about the devastation of an earthquake in Mexico. My son asked me about the pictures in the paper and immediately said, "We should light a candle for the people of Mexico." We did, and it burned all day. We used no words at the time, but the words for children are those we have mentioned before: "Alleluia," "Rejoice," "Shalom."
Invite the children to prayer, and if they do not respond, simply make your own prayers and then add something on the child's level: "Thank you God for trees, thank you for our neighbors." I have observed children responding in phases regarding prayer. They will pray every day for weeks, and then for some time they will say nothing. They should not be forced to speak. But our actions and the time taken will speak to them. When they need a form they will have a model.
Children respond well to sensorial and visible objects. During Advent, for example, be sure to have a wreath and involve the child in making it. Create a ritual for your own family in the lighting of the wreath that will involve each person. One of the hardest things for us is to keep up with what we have started, so be careful that the ritual is not forgotten by the second or third Sunday of Advent.
Establish a sacred place in your home where the Bible is kept. One of the simplest things to add to this is a candle. In our home we always light a candle when there is someone sick, someone traveling, when the trains go by with nuclear arms. There is always a candle to be lit, and just the very lighting of it has become a prayer for all of us.
In an effort to free ourselves from the church of our youth, many of us have taken down the holy pictures and removed the objects we were once fond of. We may not need to replace the rosaries, medals, or pictures, but let us carefully consider the sensorial nature of the child. What gifts can we offer them that will be appropriate to the new theology and fulfill their developmental needs? What can we place in the children's hands?
The one aspect I notice the most is that we all lack enough time. Time for prayer, for silence and reflection, is difficult to put into our schedules. We are always in a hurry, and that is exactly what children observe. How will they know that prayer requires time when there is no model? Is it an important part of family life?
We must slow down and let children know that there is time for prayer. What is important to our spiritual life as adults? What do we do to feed ourselves, and how do we make time for prayer? Do children know any part of this? Though we be people of deep faith, have we invited the children into the mystery?
Children enjoy a relationship with God - though its definition is obscure for us - which requires nurturing in its vertical and horizontal dimensions. Children require models and opportunities to enable the expression of their spiritual lives. Children are very capable participants in the life of the believing community. Their holiness is pure gift.
As a 7-year-old has prayed: "Thank you for the bread that makes us the same as you, and the same as others."
Carol Dittberner had worked in Montessori education for 11 years and was a catechist and a parent living in St. Paul, Minnesota when this article appeared.
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