Decision 2004

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I’ve always wanted my own lawyer. Even though I’ve come this far without one, I still envy people who, with obvious satisfaction, can say, "I’ll see what my lawyer thinks about that." Having a lawyer elevates one’s status in life and suggests a higher level of security than you get with, say, your own plumber, which I do have.

But it’s not the same. Granted, no one would argue that a plumber is, in almost every way, far more useful than a lawyer. But invoking his name after a minor car accident doesn’t quite carry the authority desired. "You think this was MY fault?! Well, you’ll be hearing from my plumber about this!"

Coincidentally, Sojourners doesn’t have a plumber, but it does have a lawyer. Nice guy, I’m told, although I’ve never seen him around the office. And if I did see him, presumably he would not be wearing a heavy tool belt that made his workpants ride low on his hips, exposing more information than necessary while bending down to repair a leaky legal brief, or whatever it is that lawyers do.

Lately our lawyer has been giving us a lot of advice about what nonprofit organizations can and cannot publish during an election year. Sojourners is a 501(c)(3), a federal nonprofit designation which, as I recall, was also the name of that robot in Star Wars. But then Star Wars is a copyright-protected motion picture that our lawyer advises we shouldn’t even mention. (In that movie the robot also had an intimate friendship with a little robot called R2D2. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. And we imply nothing about their relationship, which, according to our lawyer, is also none of our business.)

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Sojourners Magazine October 2004
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