Detroit: Our top story today is the recall of 7.4 million sport utility vehicles after General Motors technicians discovered they consume unconscionably high quantities of fuel. Company executives were unavailable for comment because they were being held on felony charges for violating the ozone.
Actually, that was just one of the many daydreams and wistful thoughts I had during my recent vacation, where for the first time in 20 years my spouse and I were free from the one thing that can ruin an otherwise enjoyable family trip—namely, the family.
To be fair, I have appreciated the years of memorable beach trips with our children, particularly the part where I personally carried EVERYTHING from the car because the teenagers’ hands were full with a bottle of sunscreen.
But with “Just the Two of Us” being this year’s vacation theme, we found ourselves finally able to sit quietly in the sun, and not once hear the familiar lament of “I’m bored.” (At least not until Tuesday, when I said it.) Relaxing on the sand, watching the setting sun, and listening to the rhythmic surf, I gave voice to my long-suppressed inner contemplative: