Power Punch

Finally, researchers have harnessed the fruit of the spirit into a new kind of energy drink! "The 1in3Trinity Energy Drink," according to the promotional material, "is made of a special blend handed down from the flourishing vines and trees of the Holy Land mixed with B-vitamins, Vitamin C, herbs, and antioxidants." Taking a cue from Galatians 5:22, the high-energy, low-cal power punch will jump-start Christians "to be bold in their faith and reflect the Fruit of the Spirit to the world with confidence." Now you can serve the poor, challenge the rich, or just stay awake through all-night prayer vigils. The hip Texas-based entrepreneurs at 1in3Trinity also sell "dual gender" clothing.