Ruthie Dean is a book marketer at Harper Collins Christian and a passionate writer and speaker about relationships. She and her husband, Michael, chronicle their dating mistakes and offer a fresh approach to love, sex & relationships in the age of texting and Twitter in their new book, Real Men Don’t Text.She’s @Ruthie_Dean on Twitter.

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To Tell the Truth: The Courage to Speak Out Against Respected Men

by Ruthie Dean 05-23-2013
Close-up of intimidating man, JPagetRFPhotos /

Close-up of intimidating man, JPagetRFPhotos /

Editor’s Note: As we continue reporting on the important topic of sexual abuse and violence, Sojourners has opened up the Sexual Violence and the Church blog series for submissions. This piece is one such submission. If you are interested in submitting a post for the series, please email the Web Editor HERE.

I know now, what I wish I knew then. Only after speaking up, did I learn how common stories like mine are to women across the globe. I know the warning signs and have a clearer picture of what is and isn’t acceptable behavior. I long for each of us to wrestle with the truth that we are never to blame — no matter how we dress, what we look like, or how much we’ve had to drink.

We never, ever deserve to have our bodies treated as objects of shame.