The 8 Best Progressive Christian Excuses for Skipping Work

"I had to retake the Enneagram test" and other reasons for taking a day off.
Illustration of a guilty-looking dog covered in paper shreds with a collar that says "Mags"
Illustration by Melanie Lambrick

A SOJOURNERS COLLEAGUE actually used one of these excuses for taking a day off work. If you correctly guess which one, you get to take a day off, no questions asked, at least by me.

1. I volunteered to run the Taizé service at my church and that is not the kinda service you can just barge into with clickity-clackity heels on.

2. After coming to terms with how my childhood atonement theology shaped my attachment style, I had to retake the Enneagram test.

3. I had to throw blood at a nuclear warhead in protest of the war machine.

4. Alternate: I became lightheaded after collecting too much of my own blood to throw at a nuke. In retrospect, I should have just used grape juice.

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