Great Beacons of Hope

For some reason the question, "What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?" has been running through my mind today. The past months have been full of such questions (though more gently phrased) put to me both by others and by myself. The reason for the questions is that two weeks ago, after a time of decision and preparation, I came to Nicaragua to spend six months with the long-term team of Witness for Peace.

I am living with four others in a rented house in Jalapa, Nicaragua, not far from the Honduran border. On this warm, sunny day, marked at times by the sound of gunshots as the militia practices on the edge of town, I think how much my decision to come here has its roots in my sense of hope, despite these hard times. Caught without my shelves of books, I can only paraphrase a quote from St. Teresa of Avila, which is both a reminder and a strength to me: let people not lay the blame on the times, for in all times the grace of God will be given to those who follow him.

Ten, or five, or even one year ago, I don't think I could have followed him here. Steps taken over the years, conscious efforts to put myself into ever more difficult situations, physically and spiritually—from the inner city of Cincinnati at the age of 17, to the Catholic Worker nine and a half years ago—have gradually enabled me to come here, to an area at war. Even so, my decision to come was made with great anticipation, mixed with much fear and trembling.

Why have I come? The answer will probably unravel more fully over time, but at the root of it is my belief in God's mercy and justice. I reflect often on Jesus' injunction, "Set your mind on God's kingdom and justice before everything else, and all the rest will come to you as well" (Matthew 6:33). The Sermon on the Mount and the beatitudes have given me hope and courage so that I can attempt to recognize and challenge evil where it exists and try to overcome it with good. I have long believed that a lived faith speaks more clearly than many sermons, so I try to seek out works that give witness by example.

In these past few weeks, I have come to realize that I will find here more reasons for hope than I could possibly bring. A situation like this challenges one to become a better person. Daily I encounter people whose faith, made visible by their attentive service to others, has been deepened and nourished by their sufferings. Though some are crushed by their experiences, all here help nurture my reliance on God by helping me see better the futility of seeking security as the world defines it. The warmth, generosity, and hospitality of the people of Jalapa are to me great beacons of hope, qualities common among poor people, and connected, I think, to a deep appreciation of the value of life.

In addition to finding hope in those around me, I find much hope in the wider community of which I am a part and from which I receive support. As violence and brutality grow in our world, so has concern for justice become more widespread, in our country and elsewhere. The readiness of many people to spend time and resources to come to Nicaragua is exciting, though I do worry that coming here will become a false badge of honor. The main work is back home, and in many ways I feel the task is harder there, despair easier to come by. Yet I pray that the lessons learned here, which will inevitably test and temper many of our beliefs, will also strengthen and deepen our faith.

It is not always easy to be hopeful. I have long taken great comfort in knowing that even Jesus went through the agony in the garden. Yet I take courage in knowing that the answer lies in saying, "Not my will but thine be done." I pray that all of us will be given the grace to be instruments of God's peace, even though God's use of us may take a different shape than we expect. In these hard times, perhaps our greatest hope rests in our willingness to take suffering upon ourselves, and in our refusal to participate in inflicting it upon others.

Peggy Scherer was from the Catholic Worker in New York City when this article appeared. Witness for Peace maintained a prayerful presence of U.S. Christians on the Nicaragua-Honduras border, offering nonviolent resistance to U.S. policy against Nicaragua.