Addressing envelopes, running errands, attending civil disobedience trainings, doing radio interviews, sitting, worshiping, and sleeping on railroad tracks -- these activities and more crowded my time with the Rocky Flats Truth Force. When I left Boulder, Colorado to go on to other things, I felt strangely empty. At first I attributed this to being burnt out from the hard work and let down because I would no longer be so directly a part of the excitement, love, and community I had felt with the Truth Force. But when the feeling persisted despite my continuing involvement in the anti-nuclear movement, I began to realize that somewhere along the way I had lost something very important. It took a lot of prayer and guidance from the Lord to discover what.
When I first became involved with the Truth Force some months before, I did so because of my conviction that places like Rocky Flats, where the triggers of nuclear weapons are manufactured, were a denial of the message of Christianity -- temples to the false god of nuclear security. My involvement in the movement then was marked by joy, faith, energy, and a certainty that this struggle also was in the Lord's service.
When I left Rocky Flats, I was just as convinced as ever that peace through nuclear terror was at odds with God's peace through Calvary's cross. I was still sure that it was God's will for Christians to witness to his kingdom of love and reconciliation by saying an emphatic no to the worldly kingdom of death and destruction typified by Rocky Flats. But I just didn't care anymore. Converting Rocky Flats not only seemed suddenly hopeless, but worse yet, unimportant, empty.