Lenten Loopholes

DID YOU KNOW you can win Lent?

I’ve been working on winning Lent since my upper-elementary days in Catholic Confraternity of Christian Doctrine classes at St. Andrew by the Bay. Since then, I have made annual declarations on or around Ash Wednesday about what I am giving up for Lent. As a young person, I would summon as much gravitas as I could muster in my preteen voice and proclaim, with a Dr Pepper in hand, “This year, I’m giving up sugar!” or “This year, I’m giving up MTV.”