In the past year, while you were avoiding public service by selfishly living from paycheck to paycheck, former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich has repeatedly appeared on major news shows pledging to move our nation forward with brand new ideas, such as electing him president, though he strongly denies he's running. (Coincidentally, neither am I, since I'm spending my time living paycheck to paycheck.) This is the same guy who, because of numerous ethics violations while in office, used to be called the disgraced former speaker. Apparently, he's been waiting for the right political moment, quietly biding his time, like one of those crocodiles whose alert eyes are visible above murky waters, while the rest of his large reptilian body lies just beneath the surface. I'm not saying he personally has a large reptilian body, at least not like, depending on your angle of view, Dennis Hastert. But I would not rule out the possibility that Gingrich could leap out of a pond and grab you by the leg. He's just so enthusiastic about his new ideas.
For one, Gingrich feels strongly that the U.S. is no longer a world leader because we've lost our global competitive edge. But then, he's probably never checked out youtube.com, the greatest example of productivity in American history. I'd like to see the Chinese come up with "Cute Puppy Falling Asleep," a video that I have personally watched more than a dozen times, never failing to get a lump in my throat for living in a country where a man can take a short six-hour break in the middle of the work day and watch "Hands Farting the Star Spangled Banner" or "Squirrel Playing Guitar." Clearly, these are labors of love from Americans who know a thing or two about creativity, especially the kind that's always grainy and poorly lit.