Funny Business

Macho President, Take Two

Energized and confident from his successful invasion of Panama, President George Bush recently turned his formidable powers of intimidation toward another foe ... vegetables. "I'm President of the United States, and I'm not going to eat broccoli," he said, ordering that the food never again be brought aboard Air Force One or served on his plate at the White House.

Now we know this story is a little old, but a monthly magazine can't afford to miss the high points of the news. Besides, at press time President Bush was just saying no to drugs and broccoli. By the time you read this, who knows what may have been added to the list of presidential vetoes (Spinach? Asparagus? Military cutbacks? An overdue national child care support plan that the House has already passed?).

Whatever happens, we're confident that the nation's school children are paying a lot more attention to the president's moral leadership.

PARENT: "Billy, eat your vegetables."
CHILD: "But, Mom ... the president."
PARENT, in a hushed and respectful whisper: "You're right, dear ... I almost forgot. Go on out and play."

Oops

Last month a California State Police officer pulled over a motorist on a busy turnpike. As the trooper got out and approached the car, the driver burst from his vehicle shouting obscenities. He then proceeded to rip out a device from his dashboard, throw it on the ground, and begin stomping on it repeatedly, scattering pieces across the road.

"I can't believe it," the driver screamed angrily. "I paid almost $500 for this state-of-the art radar detector, and it DIDN'T WORK!"

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