The Sojourners Guide to the Nation's Capital

With summer almost upon us, many of us at Sojourners are getting ready for long-awaited vacations. But each year, just as we're trying to spend a few weeks at the beach or in the mountains, many of our readers and other friends make a trek to the nation's capital.

The attraction of these pilgrimages escapes us. As former President John Kennedy caustically commented, Washington is a city "with Northern charm and Southern efficiency." But then perhaps you enjoy feeling like you're wearing a wet suit in a sauna or defying death by negotiating Washington's infamous and innumerable traffic circles, no two of which are the same.

The following list is an itinerary for your visit this summer, as well as a warning of "Musts to Avoid" while you're frantically seeking the few dry and cool nooks in this town during June, July, or--if you must come then--in August. Now you needn't be lost when you finally get to D.C. and find that no one you know is still in town. Here is your very own "Sojourners Guide to the Nation's Capital."

Best view of Washington..............Washington Monument
Worst view of Washington.......1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW
Easiest place to find parking ............... Capitol Beltway
Hardest place to find parking............Walking distance of the Smithsonian Institution
Best park.........................The National Arboretum
Worst park........................ The Mall at lunch hour
Best demonstration sites.....................South African Embassy; White House
Worst demonstration site .........Sheraton Washington Hotel
Most underused demonstration site............Mayor's office
Best monument.....................Vietnam War Memorial
Worst monument......National Visitor Center at Union Station
Greatest bureaucratic boondoggle............National Visitor Center at Union Station
Greatest technological boondoggle.........Star Wars (S.D.I.); Metro subway farecard machines
Worst national disgrace................Lack of major league baseball in Washington
Best local theater...........................Arena Stage
Best affordable theater.....................New Playwrites
Best free theater.................Public gallery, U.S. Senate
Most unique nightspot .........The Birchmere in Alexandria, Virginia (Bluegrass music capital of the world)
Best rock 'n' roll jukebox............Millie & Al's restaurant
Best Ethiopian jukebox..................Red Sea restaurant
Best Arabic-Middle Eastern jukebox.............Calvert Cafe
Best progressive bookstore...............Common Concerns
Best children's bookstore .................The Cheshire Cat
Best religious bookstore.............The Newman Bookstore, Catholic University
Best comic bookstore..................... Tomorrow Books in Alexandria, Virginia
Worst bookstore.............U.S. Government Printing Office
Best cheap movie theater................... Circle Theater
Best movie theater screen..................Uptown Theater
Worst movie theater screen............Any theater with "six" at the end of its name
Best circle.........................Hirshhorn art museum
Worst circle.............................Capitol Beltway
Worst traffic circle ..........................Logan Circle
Best vicious circle....................RFK football stadium on Sundays in the fall
Worst vicious circle.............From the White House to the State Department to the Pentagon to the U.S. Capitol and back
Best public statue............"The Awakening," Hains Point, Potomac Park
Worst public statue.........Any of 2,000 men on horseback in traffic circles across the city
Best public architecture..................National Archives
Worst public architecture.......................Pentagon; National Visitor Center
Best transportation bargain...................D.C. cab fares
"You Get What You Pay For" award...........D.C. cab service
Best reason for visiting Washington.................To lobby for D.C. statehood
Worst reason for visiting Washington........To get away from the heat, pressure, or relatives (they're all here in the summer)
One more reason for visiting Washington............To get to Baltimore, where there is a pretty good baseball team and more real people than lawyers
U.S. government's best-kept secret...........Three blocks of legal, unmetered parking from 3 p.m. to 6 a.m., along the Ellipse and behind the White House
Best pizza...............Ride the Metro subway to National Airport and take a shuttle flight to New York City
Best blood donation center.............. Children's Hospital
Worst blood donation center......................D.C. jail

And finally, a critical tip to all tourists: Don't come expecting to see the cherry blossoms or democracy at work. Both are rare, momentary, and totally unpredictable events--although once a year, for a little while, the cherry blossoms bloom at some point.