I'll Be Brief

At press time,

At press time, the nomination of John Bolton as U.N. ambassador had been put on hold while the U.S. Senate - our most deliberative legislative body - reacted to the shocking photos of Saddam Hussein in his underwear. Male lawmakers were shaken by pictures of a ruthless dictator wearing the same form-fitting briefs that their own mothers had dressed them in shortly after each had passed that first test of manhood: going potty. In response, the Senate passed a resolution that all American men should immediately switch to boxer shorts. The resolution is nonbinding - much like boxer shorts - but carries the full weight of a legislative body that was outraged at the sight of a tyrant known for his brutality wearing undergarments known for their move-as-you-move comfort. "We had to take a stand, even to the point of personal sacrifice," said Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist, shifting his feet awkwardly due to the unaccustomed feel of a garment that, because of a design flaw, tends to bunch up when you walk.

BUT BACK TO THIS Bolton thing (you thought I forgot). You have to feel sorry for President Bush. After all, nominating John Bolton as U.N. ambassador was just a quick favor for his friend Condoleezza Rice. A loyal and unassuming public servant, Ms. Rice wanted nothing more than to perform her duties with integrity and, if possible, a four-hour train ride away from Mr. Bolton. But making that happen wasn’t easy.

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Sojourners Magazine July 2005
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