Funny Business

Another Missed Opportunity

Since Sojourners is probably the only publication that declined to send its art director to cover the recent summit off Malta, I am unable to share with you the close-up-and-personal insights I had planned for this space. My editor's shortsightedness has once again deprived you of the behind-the-scenes glimpses that the major media did not cover, such as a picture of the nation's leaders getting sick all over one of our warships. Or Chief of Staff John Sununu scurrying across the decks selling reporters bootleg Dramamine for $10 a pop. (I just made up that last one, but seriously, did you know that when the president snores, it sounds exactly like "SUNUNU"?).

Well, I understand the limits of covering late-breaking news in a monthly magazine (THIS JUST IN ... NIXON RESIGNS!), but I hope in the future you will be able to depend on us again to shed light on the major events and questions shaping our world today, such as, How come we never see Mike Ditka and Oprah Winfrey at the same time? Doesn't that seem a little troubling?

Speaking of World Leaders

Our quote of the month is from Vice President Dan Quayle, who told reporters recently: "I've been blessed with wonderful parents and a wonderful family, and I am proud of my family. Anybody turns to their family. I have a very good family. I'm very fortunate to have a very good family. I believe very strongly in the family. It's one of the things we have in our platform is to talk about it." Reporters, surprisingly, had no follow-up questions.

And You Thought The Walls Were Just For Keeping People IN!

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