Editor’s note: At press time, the Electoral College had not yet validated the election results. If, by some miracle, Hillary Clinton is confirmed as president, the writer has refused to write a different column. “I’m not doing that again,” he said.

SO HOW ARE you spending the first 100 days of the Trump administration? Canceling your newspaper subscription and turning off your television so you won’t have to watch America becoming great again?

Would hiding under the covers make it go away? Or would it be better to crawl under the bed to keep out the scary? The latter would, of course, require vacuuming or moving the extra mattress you keep under there that only the cat uses. In either case, family members would grow weary of bringing food, so these options might require further thought.

THE FEAR IS going to be with us for a while. We’ve elected a president who has been accused of misogyny, xenophobia, and demagoguery, all words I had to look up to see if they were as bad as they sound. (Worse.) Not to mention having to spell check that last one, which to my surprise does not refer to a character in the last Iron Man movie.

And the principal adviser to our new president is an unapologetic white supremacist whose safari jacket doesn’t conceal his striking resemblance to Rasputin. (Now that I mention it, did they ever find Rasputin’s body?) And the voters most ecstatic about his presence in the White House are having difficulty keeping their arms down at their sides. (In an effort to build national unity, maybe fewer Nazi salutes would be a good start.)

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