Ian W., 21, flirted with drugs in high school. The romance turned rocky, however, and he found himself clutched by a relentless suitor he couldn’t escape.
He went into recovery and reclaimed his life with the help of a treatment center, his family, and a 12-step program.
Ian has been working a 12-step program for about three years. (Note: Ian is comfortable using his first name. Out of respect for anonymity we are not sharing his full name.)
Most of his friends are in recovery, and they are a close group. They are accustomed to telling each other about their addictions, their struggles and their joys. But he is careful around people he doesn’t know, “just because.” And he wouldn’t share anything on Facebook, he said, because “it can lead to drama.”
One thing has not changed in the world of Alcoholics Anonymous since Bill W. and friends started the program 80 years ago— the belief that anonymity provides a safe environment for people recovering from addiction.
Yet in an era of constant, instantaneous information sharing, how can young people safeguard their anonymity? And is it even important to do so in the digital era?
Celebrities such as Eminem and Pink have written and sung about recovery. A march is planned in October to promote openness. Thousands upon thousands of adults in recovery also question whether anonymity may actually hinder recovery.
Is anonymity still important to teens and young adults in recovery?
“There’s no way I would say anonymity isn’t important to recovery,” said John O’Neill, director of addiction services at at the world-renowned Menninger Clinic in Houston.
“There’s just too much stigma attached to it.”
Anonymity will be intensively guarded by the organizers at the Alcoholics Anonymous 2015 International Convention, which will meet in July in Atlanta. About 50,000 people who battle alcohol addiction are expected to attend.
“We live in this age where everything is tweeted, Snapchatted, and Instagrammed, and it’s really too bad because it can prevent people from getting the help they need,” O’Neill said.
“The ability to get help anonymously is essential.”
Yet anonymity has its detractors, especially among those who think that talking about addiction more openly can help to de-stigmatize it.
“At the very least, something we need to change when it comes to A. A. is that people have the right to talk about it,” said Clancy Martin, a professor of philosophy at the University of Missouri in Kansas City. Martin has written and spoken publicly about his addiction and has sometimes been criticized for it.
“I don’t think people should be privately or publicly censured for it.”
Greg Williams, campaign director for the October march UNITE to Face Addiction and a filmmaker who helped make the movie “Anonymous People,” said he agreed that stigma against addiction is still strong.
“We all know that employment discrimination exists, criminal justice discrimination exists, and educational discrimination exists,” Williams said.
People coming forward to talk about their addiction and their recovery can help, he said. But young people need to be particularly careful, in large part because of social media, he said.
Others agreed.
“The bottom-line fact of social media is: Who has 300 friends — nobody,” said Roseann Rook, a certified addiction counselor with Timberline Knolls, a treatment facility near Chicago.
“And unless they are a true friend, there’s no sense in telling them, because there’s no accountability.”
Anonymity is essential to helping participants to feel safe — from parents, teachers, and other well-meaning adults who may beg, plead, or threaten a youth to stop drinking, often to no avail.
“It is extremely important,” Rook said.
“A person in recovery is sharing in a very different way than a person who is sharing something with their hairdresser, or someone else. That may be to get attention or to get sympathy.”
Sharing confidentially has a healing effect that, while perhaps not fully understood, bolsters a struggling youth’s ability to gain support from the group.
“The goal is to protect the group,” said Teresa Johnston, director of Kennesaw State University’s center for young adult addiction and recovery, outside Atlanta.
“It builds community. If I stand up and say I’m in a certain recovery program and then I relapse, and go back out and share that, it can have a negative effect,” Johnston said.
Even lifelong friends might not be able to understand what recovery means — and just how hard it is, O’Neill of Menninger said. Sharing with people who do not respect the process can be damaging.
“People want to be helpful,” said Kendall, a 19-year-old who’s been clean for a year.
“But it can create drama.”
That said, both Kendall and Ian W. said they see “tons” of other young people posting updates about their sobriety.
“I see things like ‘I got 30 days,’” said Ian.
“That’s pretty common. I guess people are willing to give up their anonymity in exchange for people telling them they’re awesome.”
And therein can lie a problem, some of the experts said.
“Teens need to think about ‘What is my motive for sharing?’ Is it sympathy, support, excuses?
Anonymity is sometimes just not taken seriously,” said Rook.
“I saw a shirt recently that said ‘Rehab is the new black.’ That makes light of things, and this is serious business.”
Ian said he feels comfortable sharing his addiction and recovery with many people.
“It’s a nonissue. It wouldn’t make or break it for me,” he said.
Matt Meyer, an addiction counselor with Insight, an Atlanta-based recovery program, said that while a recovering teen should be careful about what he or she shares about his or her recovery, it is imperative that all who are in a 12-step group honor the anonymity of other members of the group.
“It’s OK for you to break your anonymity, but not OK ever to break someone else’s,” said Meyer, who is in recovery himself and who believes it can help his young charges if he opens up and shares that with them.
“Laura,” another Atlanta area professional who is a recovering addict and not in the recovery field, agreed. She said she does not want those she works with to know she is in recovery. When she was still in college, she said, “I told a lot of people. But that was then.”
The workplace is competitive, said the 27-year-old, “and people can and do use things against you. I would be very upset if someone told my boss that I’m in recovery,” she said.
As for AA, it has posted a notice concerning anonymity and the conference scheduled for the July convention.
“We hope to see you in Atlanta — and if we do, we won’t tell anyone,” says the flyer.
These stories were written and published in collaboration with the Center for Sustainable Journalism and Youth Today at Kennesaw State University.
Got something to say about what you're reading? We value your feedback!