This Will Not Tear Me Apart from My Faith

Paige Butzlaff
Elgin, IL
United States

"I'm fine," I said to the lady at Starbucks who took my order that day. I absolutely hate lying, but I knew if I told her the truth I would have erupted in tears. But like many I cried after the results were announced. I cried in the morning right after waking up. I cried in the bathroom stall at work, worrying someone would hear me. I cried because I didn't vote, due to moving recently and a lost absentee ballot form. I cried tears of regret, sadness, anger, and fear.

I'm at the point where I feel the need to deactivate Facebook for while. I'm seeing how people handle emotions and it's not all that pretty, or coherent, for that matter. But I also caved and posted on social media, feeling the need to be heard and supported. I think we all want to feel that, regardless of whether or not our party won. I keep getting comments and messages on Facebook from my conservative family members to just "keep calm" and "continue on your ordinary day." But they don't understand the implications of this election, do they?

What hurts is that I also have family members who are evangelical Christians and voted for him. Then I read an article after the election that stated the percentage of Christian evangelicals who voted for him. But it just doesn't make sense! How could they praise Jesus and his teachings, read the Bible, and believe in a loving God and yet elect a man who has clearly shown that he does not follow Jesus' teachings!? I'm lost. I'm hurt. I've never wanted to deny my Christian faith now more than ever.

But I won't let this election tear me apart from my roots, or my faith. I will practice loving my enemies and praying for them. I will look to scripture for inspiration. I will talk to my very liberal mother on the phone and vent. I will continue to live my life, albeit being calm, and turn this anger I now feel into action. I will not be helpless. There is always hope.