Epic Fail: A Tour of Ill-Conceived Church Signage

By Christian Piatt 03-12-2012

There are plenty of websites that generate fake church signs, but thankfully there are still more than enough real examples of church messages that can evoke emotions across the spectrum. I’ve collected a few of my favorites here and thought I’d share.

I’ve passed on all of the cliche ones like “God answers knee-mail’ and “CH _ _ CH –what’s missing? U – R!” and gone for ones that have really grabbed my attention, though not necessarily in the way they intended to.

Must be a postmodern Christian church

HE IS RISEN!!! (honk, honk)

A Freudian slip, I'm sure

Pretty sure I've attended this church

I kick ass for the Lord. Oh, and you suck. Loser.

There’s an especially hot spot in hell for lawnmower stealers…

A compelling case for changing the church sign at least once every three months or so.

The lesser-known sequel to the Katy Perry hit single.

God is Love…and AIDS…and Tsunamis.

So does this mean that it’s impossible to be gay and have rickets?

I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

Anyone who can guess what part of the country this was found in wins a copy of Larry the Cable Guy’s translation of the Synoptic Gospels.

OK you convinced me. I’ll convert out of convenience.

Oh yeah, let me find that scripture where Jesus promises his followers will always be happy. Wait, it’s here somewhere…

Some churches will try anything to get people in the door.

Please, please, please get a proofreader.

Send us your favorites and we’ll post them in the future.

Christian Piatt is the creator and editor of BANNED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE BIBLE and BANNED QUESTIONS ABOUT JESUS. He co-created and co-edits the “WTF: Where’s the Faith?” young adult series with Chalice Press. His memoir on faith, family and parenting, PREGMANCY: A Dad, a Little Dude and a Due Date, hits bookstores eveywhere April 1.

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