My path to becoming involved in the anti-trafficking field is not so unusual. It may very well be the same path that you are on right now. It began with awareness through a film, progressed through education as I read every book and article I could find on the topic, and culminated with a passionate commitment to dedicate myself to the cause. The more I learned, the more I became convinced that modern-day slavery is the most egregious form of injustice and that we must work together to combat this horrific crime.
Since then, my path led me across the globe. I worked with the international anti-trafficking agency, Not For Sale; visited projects in Nepal, Thailand, Cambodia, and Peru; wrote a master’s thesis on the topic; and returned home to Columbus, Ohio, to fight human trafficking “in my own backyard.”
Today, I am the Managing Director of Freedom a la Cart, a social enterprise that offers employment, workforce development, and supportive services to local, adult survivors of human trafficking. The women that I work with are victims of unimaginable trauma and abuse. They are also the strongest, most resilient women I know. Through their words and actions they continue to teach me the power of loving oneself.
Because here is my deepest, darkest secret—the one that I never speak about. The one that I shove deep down and hope that no one ever learns about.
I struggle to love myself.
I am the boss, the director, a caretaker, an advocate for social justice. But I don’t love myself, and I struggle with self-worth daily. I am a perfectionist and constantly feel that I am “not enough.”
It wasn’t until my 30th year of life that I realized how broken and human I was. Jesus tells us to love our neighbor as we love ourselves. I was doing a terrible job of loving myself and realized I could not truly love these survivors until I loved myself.
All too often, advocates and activists present themselves as superheroes, rescuing the poor and defenseless. We hide our fear, our guilt, our shame, our self-loathing, because we are supposed to be the strong ones. We are supposed to have all the answers. And yet what is demanded of us isn’t perfection, but rather our faithfulness and willingness to be vulnerable.
How was I going to learn to love myself? By learning from these strong survivors who have been to hell and back, who struggle with guilt and shame, yet who now hold their heads high and say with 100% confidence, “I am worthy.”
A year ago, 30 victims of human trafficking on the path to recovery sat in a room together. The leader of the session asked, “What do you know about hurt?”
The survivors talked about feeling broken, afraid that they didn’t know who they were, how they struggle with shame and guilt. They were afraid that they were unlovable. They had been hurt by close family members, had made terrible mistakes, and had hurt their children.
Sound familiar? These are the very same things that we all struggle with.
Yet, they had the courage to speak about it. In recovery, we learn that you have to be honest with yourself. You have to speak about your struggles—because when they are spoken aloud and shared, they no longer have power over you.
And so today, I speak aloud my darkest secret and share with you the greatest lessons that I have learned as an abolitionist. There is great power in embracing our imperfection and vulnerabilities. We are all broken and in need of restoration. We need to be kind and gentle with ourselves, and engage in our lives from a place of worthiness.
When I began this journey, I never would have imagined the places I would go, the people I would meet, or how deeply I would be changed through the personal stories of survivors who are courageously reclaiming their freedom. Nor would I have ever imagined that I would learn to love myself and live my life from a place of worthiness. Yet along my pursuit as an abolitionist, I’m learning that “There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” (Gal 3:28)
All are one in Christ Jesus.
Even though I struggle, the greatest truth is this: I am human. I am broken. I am sinful.
And yet, I too, am deserving of love, grace, and compassion. We all are.
Keturah Lee Schroeder is Managing Director at Freedom a la Cart, a catering business employing survivors of human trafficking in Columbus, Ohio. Her MA is in International Studies with a focus on intentional economic empowerment to break cycles of poverty and exploitation.
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