After posting a blog about my observations of a dying church, there were comments given that made me think it wasn't a bad idea to blog about ways pastors can muck it up as well. After all as the saying goes, "it takes two to tango." Certainly in my experience I have observed and witnessed ways that pastors have not helped a congregation and even have hurt a congregation.
Here are my 10 observations on ways pastors can actually worsen situations at church. Some of these may seem contradictory, but depending on the situation of the congregation, certain actions may be helpful or hurtful.
1. Holding on to pastoral identity: Pastors are human. It can be deflating to look out into the congregation and see so many empty seats or plan a bible study or some event and very few show up. Even for the most humble of pastors, it is hard to not take it personally or have it play on one's confidence as an effective pastor. However, as pastors, we have to be attentive to what defines us as a pastor because being in a dying congregation will test one's identity. I've seen many pastors not willing to let go of having a pastor's study, parking space, a full-time secretary, or discretionary funds in a salary package. But if we are leading congregations to change and let go of things that have identified them, we must be willing to do the same.
2. Not asking for help: Serving a church can be a lonely process, but it doesn't have to be. It is vital that a pastor reach out to neighboring churches or sister congregations for help, not just for financial assistance, but also for possibilities in shared ministry, mission, and even new ideas for doing things in bookkeeping, stewardship, programming, etc. I do not serve a large congregation, but we have a lot of kids. I spent a lot of time revamping our Sunday School program and curriculum that fits a small church with limited financial resources. I freely share the curriculum and resources with other small congregations who can't afford curriculum. This has been a great way to partner and share ministries.
3. Not leaving when your time is up: Knowing when your time is up can be a difficult thing for a pastor to discern. I once heard that all pastors are interim pastors, meaning we are called to serve a particular congregation for a particular time for particular reason. But more and more pastors are staying past retirement age. Some pastors have stayed even when they know that their particular skills are not a good match for the congregation. Some stay too long because the church has become their home and family, and they have grown too attached to the congregation. Whatever the reason, a pastor should always discern whether it is their time to go. I was called to my church for a particular reason -- to help the congregation grow healthier and more connected to the community. My church has changed a lot since I first started and I am currently discerning whether they need a pastor with other skills and passion to move them to the next transition, whatever that may be.
4. Leaving before your time is up: This leads me to the other extreme. It is just as detrimental to a congregation when a pastor jumps ship, especially a sinking one. When I served a committee that helped struggling congregations, I would regularly meet with pastors to discuss ideas and possible steps. For congregations that seemed to be heading towards closure, I would tell pastors that one of the greatest gifts you can give is to lead them through a faithful and pastoral process that brought closure to the congregation -- where they can celebrate the life of the church and dream of ways they can continue their legacy by blessing another ministry with their building and assets. Unfortunately, I have seen many pastors jump ship, leaving the congregation to pick up the already fragile pieces.
5. Forgetting your calling: When a pastor speaks of one's sense of call, it might be mission, social justice, new church developments, chaplaincy, or parish ministry. Rarely or ever do you hear someone who is called to dying congregations. But with the increasing amount of struggling congregations, maybe it should be a sense of call -- someone gifted in hospice, transitions, assessment, pastoral care, and experience to give congregations closure and ability to look at ministry beyond the existence of their church.
6. Poor communication: They always say that communication is an important ingredient to a successful marriage. That is also very true between the relationship of a pastor and congregation. It is important for a pastor to not sugar coat the truth when it comes to the reality of the situation. It is important for a pastor to convey, in words, deeds, and action, the vision of the church. It is vital that the pastor communicate purpose, focus, and intention in everything the church does. Pastors should use every venue and tool to communicate what needs to be communicated: newsletter, social media, sermons, letters to the congregation, etc. Leadership is about equipping and empowering people. People can only be effective if they know the truth, the purpose, and the vision of what they are to engage in.
7. Poor leadership: Certainly pastors have encountered the challenges of getting enough volunteers, enough lay people to participate in a project, mission, or activity. This is a common problem. Having said that, I have been surprised to see how many pastors do not take the time to train, develop, and equip lay leaders, therefore taking on everything themselves. It does the congregation no benefit to have a pastor that does it all. Pastors actually do more harm not asking, empowering, and nudging the congregation enough. Therefore, there is no ownership, no investment, and no commitment. In a previous blog, I mention characteristics needed for today's leader. Derek Sivers says that a leader is ineffective unless it has a good follower. Here is a great video where he explains the importance of the first and second follower.
8. Creating inauthentic change: It is no secret that change is inevitable if a church is going to transform, reinvent itself, or meet the needs of a changing community. The danger is changing things simply for change sake. Unnecessary changes can actually do more harm than good. It drains the limited energy of the parishioners. It deflates the hope and confidence of the church. It confuses and misdirects what really needs to be done. It is fine to get rid of the pews for coffee tables and chairs, but ask yourself, why? It is fine to get rid of the organ for a praise band, but what is the reason? Coffee tables and praise bands do not bring in people unless it is relevant to the identity of the congregation or the congregation is committed to making significant changes and shift who they are.
9. Lacking the right tools: Most of the tools that pastors have in their tool belt are preaching, pastoral care, and administration skills. When it comes to struggling congregations, some pastors attend redevelopment conferences or even new church development conferences to get new ideas about how to transform ministries. However, I feel that two of the most important tools a pastor should have are the tools of observation and assessment. The ability to observe and assess a situation, one's own emotions and struggles, a parishioner's problem, or the direction of the church is a vital tool. One of the best parts of my job is observing worship and assessing how people engage in worship. While I do participate in leading worship, when I am not preaching or leading prayers, I stand in the back of the sanctuary watching how parents worship with their children, how visitors engage in the liturgy, and how comfortable or uncomfortable people feel in worshiping in our sanctuary. Depending on what I observe, I am able to tweak, get rid of, and communicate to the leadership of my church what possible next steps we may need to explore.
10. Neglecting self-care: It seems obvious, but a burned out pastor will have a hard time giving the necessary creative energy, dedicated time, and effective leadership a congregation needs. Like I said before, serving a struggling congregation can be lonely and add to the stress and burden a pastor feels. It's important to get support from colleagues, a spiritual director, and mentors. Every pastor needs a safe space to share their struggles, accomplishments, and frustrations. Every three months, a group of Presbyterian pastors in San Francisco meet for lunch to share what's going on in our lives as well as our congregations. I am also blessed to meet with a group of clergywomen once a month, sharing resources, ideas, laughter, and tears. And this is on top of having a great head of staff that I can confide in and plenty of mentors that will have coffee with me at a moments notice. I have my sanity and passion for ministry because of all of them.
As a pastor, what have been your lessons learned, struggles, accomplishments, and growing edges? I welcome you to share your experiences in the comments section below, and together, perhaps we can continue to strengthen our pastors to lead thriving and healthy congregations.
Theresa Cho is a Reno, Nevada native who graduated from McCormick Theological Seminary in Chicago with awards in preaching and theology. She blogs at Still Waters.
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