The Common Good

Sider Declares End of 'Steroid Era' in Progressive Christianity

090401-jim-wallis-handcuffsSpeaking for the first time about the results of his months-long investigation into the progressive Christian movement, Dr. Ron Sider revealed that the use of performance-enhancing drugs among prominent American religious leaders had been more widespread than previously thought.

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"In an apparent effort to measure up to the overwhelming strength of the Religious Right, progressive leaders gathered into so-called 'intentional communities,' which served as informal networks for the distribution of anabolic steroids," the report said.

"It's sad, but it makes sense," said Samantha Burton, 25, of Baltimore. "At the budget protest in 2005, I saw Jim Wallis break through three pairs of handcuffs at once. I just thought, 'Wow, that guy really hates this federal budget.'"

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Dave Allen is a seminarian and former Sojourners intern.

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