WATCH: What If Jesus Said the (Terrible) Things Our Presidential Candidates Say?

Jimmy Kimmel recently hosted Jesus on his late show. Not real Jesus, of course. (Don’t worry, this isn’t the apocalypse. You haven’t been left behind). It’s just pretend white Jesus.

Kimmel’s team took real quotes from various presidential candidates and let an actor pretending to be Jesus read them as if he were running for president. And yes, they did happen to include quotes from Donald Trump.

“We want[ed] to get an idea of what [these statements] would actually sound like from the mouth of Jesus,” said Kimmel.

It’s quite disturbing, really. 

The Netherlands Recruits Eagles to Take Down Drones

Screenshot via Politie/Youtube

The bald eagle has been the symbol of the U.S. for over 200 years.

But we’ve never put an eagle to as good of a use as the Dutch are now: taking down drones. 

In order to remove drones hovering above unauthorized areas, such as airports or political events, Dutch police are training eagles to snatch them out of the air.

We've put a man on the moon. Why haven't we done this yet?

WATCH: Stephen Colbert Gets Quizzed on Catholic Trivia

Screenshot via The Late Show with Stephen Colbert/Youtube

“Are you challenging me to a Catholic throwdown?”

Thus commenced Stephen Colbert and Patricia Heaton’s Catholic-off on the Jan. 18 episode of the Late Show. The famously Catholic TV host wanted to give his guest a fighting chance though. So, he produced a family photo of Heaton’s family with approximately enough people to fill a village.