Funny Business

I'd Like A Window Seat, No Faxing, Please

Frequent flyers are reacting with suspicion to the announcement that the airlines will soon be providing on-board facsimile service to their passengers. Laptop computers are bad enough, said a friend who inevitably ends up between a pair of eager computer slaves clacking away at their keyboards. But now you won't even be able to go to the bathroom without threading your way through the lines of people waiting to use the fax.

Alarmed by this latest development, we here at the H'rumphs Megatrends Desk predict the following scenario for the future.

NEWS ITEM, DATELINE 2001: The Federal Aviation Administration, in its strictest move since the 1990 ban on smoking aboard airliners, limited in-flight fax transmissions to transcontinental routes. The ruling comes a scant six months after the FAA required all faxing passengers to sit at the rear of the airplane, thus freeing up the bulk of seating for non-faxers.

One airline spokesperson predicted major fallout from the business community, noting that some travelers cannot be expected to fly for even an hour or two without faxing. Asked about the recent Surgeon General's report citing the societal damage of fax abuse, the source noted another study commissioned by the airlines that came to the opposite conclusion. "Our study shows that fax use is a personal choice, of no detriment to the transmitter, nor to anyone in the same room.

"Faxing," he continued, "has also been found to be very relaxing to some people, and provides a comforting release of tension for the busy traveler.

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