The Jesus Christ keychain with LED flashlight from Divinity Innovations provides a literal “lamp unto your feet.” Sporting a long-sleeved, rolled-edge crewneck shirt (with an ichthys as his team logo) and crimson toga, this Jesus needs batteries and a tiny Phillips-head screwdriver to operate properly. It’s the perfect Christmas gift for the person on your list who thinks Christianity is impractical. Manufacturer’s warning: “Do not give to small children.”