The Common Good

Bill To Reject Bipartisanship Receives Broad Bipartisan Support

100401-bipartisanLeaders of both parties in the House of Representatives hailed the passage of landmark legislation on Tuesday that rejects bipartisanship once and for all.

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The bill, which passed on Wednesday by a vote of 431-1, would codify the often ugly partisan divide that has halted Washington to a near standstill in recent months. Section 5 (a) (iii) of the bill instructs members of Congress to "stop kidding themselves and just vote with your caucus already. Gosh!"

House Minority Whip Eric Cantor (R-OH) declared this a victory for the American people. "This is a historic day in which I stand proudly with the freedom-hating Democrat party to denounce the possibility of working together. I mean, c'mon, I can't stand those guys."

The lone voice of dissent came from self-proclaimed libertarian Ron Paul (R-TX), who saw this as an intrusion into the lives of ordinary members of Congress. "I will decide for myself to reject bipartisanship. Big government can't tell me that I can't be bipartisan. It's in the Constitution. You can look it up."

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