The Common Good

Articles By Ed Spivey Jr.

A Brief History of Time is a great read, especially the one page I understood. the Koch brothers, who have really nice bootstraps. 
Saints (and sinners) around the water cooler. 
Another great idea from our patriotic defense contractors. 
From one grim-faced, aging, white guy to another. 
The Old Farmer's Almanac never lies. (It guesses, but that's not lying.)
The people have spoken, usually during dinnertime.  
Where were the bugs? We were supposed to get lots of bugs. 
America should be like a box of crayons, but with fewer colors.
"Please report to Window #12. And bring your Bible."
And they're using it for themselves.
...although maybe we should have kept a little for ourselves.
Another test of biblical authority by unscrupulous scientists.
It's only New Jersey. So fugetaboutit.
Okay, so maybe not actually die. Just change. And quickly.
No animals were tested in the study. Just me.
Don't make promises you can't keep.
Sorry, kids, but Santa has some bad news.
Domestic space flight is an idea whose time has come.
If you have something to hide, hide it better.
Sorry. Disasters aren't budgeted this year.
Elvis impersonators make lousy terrorists.
When wedding bells ring, don't forget the jello.
Who said it was a good idea to mimic the human brain?
I felt the same way. When I was 9.
You should expect some side effects.
Let the healing begin (maybe next week).
What's next, frogs and locusts?
Get used to the idea of a married Jesus.
Is it global warming or an alien invasion?
Please Vatican, censor me. I deserve it.
Remind me again what lawyers do. I forget.
Like Jesus, I'm saving a lot of money on gas.
Even al Qaeda can use rebranding.
Becoming a dictator is a great way to get out of homework.
In fact, my knowledge of Brazil is limited to that tall Jesus statue overlooking a city, and the fact people can be naked on the beaches while speaking Portuguese.
Who knew hideous sea creatures had their own club?
My new approach this year is not to promise better behavior or new experiences, but to simply look back at the mistakes of last year and avoid repeating them.
At first, I thought I had the flu because I didn't get a flu shot this year and naturally had to be punished by the medical community.
Tarantulas are not insects. They're arachnids. Really big ones.
Fortunately, 40 is the new 34, or in my case, 38.
Starting in 2013, every pack of cigarettes sold in the U.S. will include graphic images portraying the physical effects of smoking, although looking really cool when you're a teenager won’t be one of them.
So now we know why over the past few years our Internet service would sometimes slow to a crawl: Osama bin Laden was tying up the circuits Googling himself. Repeatedly.
Eventually, a Rapture prediction will come true, right?
Speaking of my granddaughter, I was changing her diaper the other day, and in the contents I'm pretty sure I saw ...
Our nation expects bold and innovative leadership. (Kidding.)
A little Methodist church has a big heart for the left out and the lonley in the shadow of the nation's capital.
As the United States prepares for its inevitable takeover by special interests, Sojourners recently sat down with the godfather of them all, the National Rifle Association.
It's official: WikiLeaks says she's the cutest.
As one would predict, many humor writers are taking cheap shots at the new pat-down rules at airports. But at Sojourners we're different.