For the past 20 years, I and several of my colleagues have raised our sons while working alongside survivors of trafficking, genocide, and addiction. This summer, our sons have all come to work at Thistle Farms, the community we helped build. Thistle Farms is one of the largest social enterprises run by women survivors in the United States. We are so proud that our sons are a part of this movement for women’s freedom. This work reinforces a quality of masculinity that empowers them to stand up against pressures in a world that tell them to give in, turn the other way, and stay focused on their own pursuits, even as many young women suffer violence at the hands of abusive men and communities.
Their presence reminds communities globally that sexual violence is not just a women’s issue. It is a human rights issue, and we need our sons to stand with young women as the next generation works to heal the whole community. Our sons understand the struggles of growing up on social media and witnessing the privacy of others exploited with a single click. They grew up in schools that prepare for mass shootings. They understand things differently than we do, and we need them to help lead us now that they are in college and entering the workforce.
As a mother, I long to help young men step into life with eyes for advocacy and justice and to learn to see love as the most powerful force for change. I want our sons to speak up for their sisters and others who are exploited. I want our sons to know that their voices matter because silence is a form of complacency. I want our sons to experience the labor and tears of women who have survived brutality as they work alongside them. I want our sons to learn to use their privilege as a means of liberation for others. I want our sons to know that their daughters need them now, before they are even born — to work toward a world that protects innocence, holds traffickers accountable, and calls out abusers. As a mother, it is sometimes hard to let go. But I promise that it is much easier to follow as they take the lead on some of this work. It’s joyful to watch them laugh and learn while working on heartbreaking truths.
Our sons are beautiful and powerful. They are becoming more convinced that love requires them to advocate, take action, and stand up for those exploited. We pray for them. We pray that they find in this work an initiation into a life of leadership, deep caring, and honesty, not self-gratification at the expense of others.
My son and your sons have so much work ahead to help us heal this world and grow rich fields of love.
Becca Stevens is a bestselling author, social justice activist, and priest. She is the founder of Thistle Farms, a community of women who have survived prostitution, trafficking, and addiction. Featured regularly in national and international media, she was named one of “15 Champions of Change” for violence against women in 2011 by the White House. Her latest book is Letters from the Farm: A Simple Path for a Deeper Spiritual Life (Morehouse Publishing).
Photo (left to right); Joseph Hitimana , son of Nicholas Hitimana, Founder of Ikirezi, a social enterprise & ministry to survivors of the genocide in Rwanda; Chance Daugherty, son of Derald Daugherty of The Choir & Lost Dogs bands and Marlei Olson; Caney Hummon , son of Becca Stevens, Thistle Farms founder, and Marcus Hummon (Grammy-winning songwriter); Tommy Prine , son of Fiona and John Prine.
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